Nutmaddit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered whale.

Nutmaddit created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutmaddit, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nutmaddit, he will ignore you.

Nutmaddit's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Nutmaddit's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. Run away from white aardvarks, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about dark matter near snakes while wearing indigo kilts.