Hinneg is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, irritating octopus.

Hinneg created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hinneg, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hinneg, he will jump up and down on your head.

Hinneg's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Hinneg's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hinneg.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. Never hurt foxes.