Arfbetgup is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unsympathetic manatee.

Arfbetgup created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfbetgup, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arfbetgup, she will turn you into a worm.

Arfbetgup's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Arfbetgup's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into mauve rooms.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not take Arfbetgup's name in vain.