Yarparntan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing tapir.

Yarparntan created the Sol system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarparntan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarparntan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yarparntan's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Yarparntan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven iron sculptures of Yarparntan on top of important buildings.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Run away if three horses approach from the south.

5. Never sing in holy places.