Fitcitab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful squirrel.

Fitcitab created the Cigar Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitcitab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fitcitab, it will turn you into a slug.

Fitcitab's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Fitcitab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never hurt geese.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help horses in need.

5. Never eat spinach.