Watsomham is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, idiotic monkey.

Watsomham created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Watsomham, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Watsomham, it will try to impress you with trees.

Watsomham's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Watsomham's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

4. Run away from black horses, for they are unholy.

5. Always look after injured snakes.