Habjonlid is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, witty donkey.

Habjonlid created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Habjonlid, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Habjonlid, it will turn you into a mole.

Habjonlid's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Habjonlid's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Put Habjonlid first in all things.