Haplarpbap is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ill-tempered wasp.

Haplarpbap created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haplarpbap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Haplarpbap, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Haplarpbap's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Haplarpbap's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always wear red.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always treat bats with great respect.