Hatnaksat is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, stupid wombat.

Hatnaksat created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatnaksat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hatnaksat, he will send you a sign.

Hatnaksat's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Hatnaksat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Do not kill snails.

4. Put Hatnaksat first in all things.

5. Never look at moons.