Jabgenmil is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental hummingbird.

Jabgenmil created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Jabgenmil, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jabgenmil, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jabgenmil's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Jabgenmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near snakes while wearing turquoise hats.