Fossbagquat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, all-knowing tortoise.

Fossbagquat created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fossbagquat, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fossbagquat, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fossbagquat's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fossbagquat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mites.

2. Mice are not to be trusted.

3. Do not eat lentils.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.