Matbarnpitwondabrak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unfair aardvark.

Matbarnpitwondabrak created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matbarnpitwondabrak, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Matbarnpitwondabrak, it will turn you into a snail.

Matbarnpitwondabrak's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Matbarnpitwondabrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near tortoises while wearing blue rings and balancing six carbon spheres on your feet.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Never mention ducks.

5. Never write about moons.