Xucsafpin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, capable snake.

Xucsafpin created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Xucsafpin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Xucsafpin, she will turn you into a plant.

Xucsafpin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Xucsafpin's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xucsafpin.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.