Canfutcadtomzim is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane bear.

Canfutcadtomzim created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Canfutcadtomzim, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Canfutcadtomzim, she will turn you into a sheep.

Canfutcadtomzim's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Canfutcadtomzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Never think ill of sick shrews.

5. Never feed lots of garlic to monkeys while wearing turquoise coats.