Zakmifyok Gedlanjop is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, humorless hydra.

Zakmifyok Gedlanjop created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakmifyok Gedlanjop, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zakmifyok Gedlanjop, he will come to you in dreams.

Zakmifyok Gedlanjop's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Zakmifyok Gedlanjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Always help sick snails.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.