Tabratgen is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unjust whale.

Tabratgen created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabratgen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tabratgen, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tabratgen's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tabratgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect six iron sculptures of Tabratgen on top of important buildings.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Tabratgen in the centre of the settlement.