Flanyiknil is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, charitable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Flanyiknil created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Flanyiknil, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flanyiknil, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Flanyiknil's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Flanyiknil's Holy Commandments

1. Put Flanyiknil first in all things.

2. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

3. Do not keep six manatees in a large pit.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

5. Never talk about fire.