Betmilkom is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthoughtful manatee.

Betmilkom created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betmilkom, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Betmilkom, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Betmilkom's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Betmilkom's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow turtles for they are unholy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Run away if nine nematodes approach from the north.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.