Largsiscap Hogdisshom is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, able newt.

Largsiscap Hogdisshom created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largsiscap Hogdisshom, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Largsiscap Hogdisshom, he will refuse to believe in you.

Largsiscap Hogdisshom's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Largsiscap Hogdisshom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Do not drink alcohol.