Kipnurtcub Bessnilhap is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, weak pig.

Kipnurtcub Bessnilhap created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipnurtcub Bessnilhap, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kipnurtcub Bessnilhap, she will send you a sign.

Kipnurtcub Bessnilhap's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Kipnurtcub Bessnilhap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

5. Never eat bark.