Fenxucnelceb is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, conceited parrot.

Fenxucnelceb created the planet Jupiter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenxucnelceb, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fenxucnelceb, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Fenxucnelceb's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fenxucnelceb's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are not to be trusted.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. You must pray to Fenxucnelceb three times a day.

4. Never feed carrots to monkeys while wearing magenta shirts.

5. Do not sprint in public.