Lenmipzim is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, competent porpoise.

Lenmipzim created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lenmipzim, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lenmipzim, he will send you a sign.

Lenmipzim's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Lenmipzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near gulls while wearing mauve rings.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always help goats in need.

5. Never think about enzymes.