Gabnanbin is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, happy capybara.

Gabnanbin created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gabnanbin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gabnanbin, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Gabnanbin's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gabnanbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gabnanbin.

5. You must pray to Gabnanbin eight times a day.