Jatpakdab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, fast grasshopper.

Jatpakdab created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatpakdab, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jatpakdab, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jatpakdab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Jatpakdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near turtles while wearing orange skirts.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Jatpakdab.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.