Bellmadhog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, awe-inspiring capybara.

Bellmadhog created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bellmadhog, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bellmadhog, it will turn you into a frog.

Bellmadhog's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bellmadhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.