Pidjamwigtintungemgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unsympathetic manatee.

Pidjamwigtintungemgut created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidjamwigtintungemgut, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pidjamwigtintungemgut, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Pidjamwigtintungemgut's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Pidjamwigtintungemgut's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pidjamwigtintungemgut.

2. Pidjamwigtintungemgut must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Hide if three bats approach from the north.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near moths while wearing black rings and balancing eight titanium spheres on your hands.

5. Always treat snakes with great respect.