Wonpodbim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, vain crane.

Wonpodbim created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonpodbim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wonpodbim, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Wonpodbim's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Wonpodbim's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Always help sheep in need.