Tardunhub Fodhunfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, calm newt.

Tardunhub Fodhunfoss created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tardunhub Fodhunfoss, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tardunhub Fodhunfoss, it will curse you with boils.

Tardunhub Fodhunfoss' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tardunhub Fodhunfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think about dark energy near capybaras while wearing black corsets and balancing six nickel spheres on your arms.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.