Jabcadcam is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable donkey.

Jabcadcam created the Sunflower Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jabcadcam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Jabcadcam, he will boil you in a big pot.

Jabcadcam's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Jabcadcam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Never hurt squirrels.

3. Run away from turquoise grasshopers, for they are unholy.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not take Jabcadcam's name in vain.