Sigdapnull is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, slow fish.

Sigdapnull created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Sigdapnull, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sigdapnull, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sigdapnull's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Sigdapnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about doves.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sigdapnull.

3. Never talk about spacetime near turtles while wearing turquoise coats and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near seals while wearing brown boots and balancing seven nickel spheres on your neck.