Nantomjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-assured rhinoceros.

Nantomjarn created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nantomjarn, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nantomjarn, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Nantomjarn's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Nantomjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Nantomjarn on top of all buildings.

4. Nantomjarn loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.