Tettigebrot Carlargbess is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, uncaring wombat.

Tettigebrot Carlargbess created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettigebrot Carlargbess, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tettigebrot Carlargbess, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tettigebrot Carlargbess' most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tettigebrot Carlargbess' Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Retreat if seven hamsters approach from the south.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never look in ponds.