Yogkanjop Nuryattsog is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unjust guinea pig.

Yogkanjop Nuryattsog created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogkanjop Nuryattsog, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yogkanjop Nuryattsog, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yogkanjop Nuryattsog's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Yogkanjop Nuryattsog's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yogkanjop Nuryattsog first in all things.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

5. Never write about comets.