Nurlyarplop is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, amazing fairy.

Nurlyarplop created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlyarplop, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nurlyarplop, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nurlyarplop's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Nurlyarplop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Manatees are not to be trusted.

3. Never chant near whales.

4. Never talk about spacetime near hamsters while wearing orange shirts and balancing four tin spheres on your back.

5. Pray towards the west.