Bimcussflowhaddin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, loving fairy.

Bimcussflowhaddin created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimcussflowhaddin, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bimcussflowhaddin, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Bimcussflowhaddin's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bimcussflowhaddin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Worship no other gods but Bimcussflowhaddin.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.