Cissgepdiss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless aardvark.

Cissgepdiss created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissgepdiss, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cissgepdiss, she will turn you into a snail.

Cissgepdiss' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Cissgepdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near porpoises while wearing pink skirts and balancing eight tin spheres on your head.

2. Worship no other gods but Cissgepdiss.

3. Feed all hungry mites.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

5. Do not stand on grass.