Him is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unfair crocodile.

Him created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Him, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Him, she will not care.

Him's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Him's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never run near tortoises.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not speak about melons.