Betdavfem Hasladarf is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful hedgehog.

Betdavfem Hasladarf created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Betdavfem Hasladarf, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Betdavfem Hasladarf, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Betdavfem Hasladarf's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Betdavfem Hasladarf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always obey Betdavfem Hasladarf's priests.

3. Betdavfem Hasladarf must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Pray towards the east.