Jopfarnfas Bitbegtikpagdavdutgud is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, merciless toad.

Jopfarnfas Bitbegtikpagdavdutgud created humankind three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopfarnfas Bitbegtikpagdavdutgud, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jopfarnfas Bitbegtikpagdavdutgud, he will destroy your home planet.

Jopfarnfas Bitbegtikpagdavdutgud's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Jopfarnfas Bitbegtikpagdavdutgud's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are not to be trusted.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jopfarnfas Bitbegtikpagdavdutgud.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Feed all hungry squirrels.