Ladpaskon is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, intelligent meerkat.

Ladpaskon created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladpaskon, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ladpaskon, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Ladpaskon's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Ladpaskon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never hurt cats.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.