Kadwodcip is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, clever gerbil.

Kadwodcip created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadwodcip, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kadwodcip, she will jump up and down on your head.

Kadwodcip's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Kadwodcip's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Run away from purple moths, for they are unholy.

5. Always look after injured swans.