Haportsog is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, charitable lion.

Haportsog created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Haportsog, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Haportsog, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Haportsog's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Haportsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.