Jopsishap is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, uncaring monkey.

Jopsishap created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jopsishap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jopsishap, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jopsishap's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Jopsishap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Hide from magenta tortoises for they are unholy.

3. Jopsishap loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.