Jamontgad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, smart bird.

Jamontgad created the Cigar Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Jamontgad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jamontgad, he will turn you into a worm.

Jamontgad's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Jamontgad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Put Jamontgad first in all things.

3. Never feed apples to otters while wearing white trousers.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.