Xemniggig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omniscient tapir.

Xemniggig created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemniggig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xemniggig, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Xemniggig's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Xemniggig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Hide from violet voles for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Xemniggig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.