Wadomtfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, deceitful tortoise.

Wadomtfoss created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Wadomtfoss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wadomtfoss, he will be mildly annoyed.

Wadomtfoss' most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Wadomtfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wadomtfoss.

3. Never feed lots of corn to pigs while wearing indigo coats.

4. Never sing near turtles.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.