Zanfotnak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unfair fairy.

Zanfotnak created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanfotnak, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zanfotnak, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zanfotnak's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Zanfotnak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

4. You must pray to Zanfotnak five times a day.

5. Never pour water over plants.