Titnarlgepcab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, fussy weasel.

Titnarlgepcab created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Titnarlgepcab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Titnarlgepcab, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Titnarlgepcab's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Titnarlgepcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near mice while wearing blue scarves and balancing eight gold spheres on your arms.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Feed all hungry geese.