Afpitdudfig is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, humane ant.

Afpitdudfig created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Afpitdudfig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Afpitdudfig, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Afpitdudfig's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Afpitdudfig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Afpitdudfig must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always treat goats with great respect.

5. Do not listen to music.