Gumfagtaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful clam.

Gumfagtaf created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumfagtaf, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gumfagtaf, it will cry a lot.

Gumfagtaf's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gumfagtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six shrews approach from the south.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Gumfagtaf on top of all buildings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.